Thursday, March 14, 2013

Online Degrees Done Dirt Cheap

While driving across Wisconsin yesterday, I learned of a great new place to get an online degree.

In the city of Middleton, stop at Poupon U and learn all about mustard. Even if you cannot visit the campus, you can still go online and earn an official diploma--for the low price of just eight dollars--in a variety of degree programs, such as:

  • M.D. degree (Mustard Doctor)
  • JD degree (Juris Dufus)
  • DDS degree (Doctor of Diddley-Squat)
  • MBA degree (Master of Bad Attitude)
  • CPA degree (Couch Potato Authority)

Each degree is authorized by Elvis (who moved to Wisconsin to be closer to the fresh cheese) and Buford, their resident village idiot.

And be sure to show your alumni pride by donning the collegiate apparel. Go Big Yellow!

About Me

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I am a project-based software consultant, specializing in automating transitions from legacy reporting applications into modern BI/Analytics to leverage Social, Cloud, Mobile, Big Data, Visualizations, and Predictive Analytics using Information Builders' WebFOCUS. Based on scores of successful engagements, I have assembled proven Best Practice methodologies, software tools, and templates.

I have been blessed to work with innovators from firms such as: Ford, FedEx, Procter & Gamble, Nationwide, The Wendy's Company, The Kroger Co., JPMorgan Chase, MasterCard, Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Siemens, American Express, and others.

I was educated at Valparaiso University and the University of Cincinnati, where I graduated summa cum laude. In 1990, I joined Information Builders and for over a dozen years served in regional pre- and post-sales technical leadership roles. Also, for several years I led the US technical services teams within Cincom Systems' ERP software product group and the Midwest custom software services arm of Xerox.

Since 2007, I have provided enterprise BI services such as: strategic advice; architecture, design, and software application development of intelligence systems (interactive dashboards and mobile); data warehousing; and automated modernization of legacy reporting. My experience with BI products include WebFOCUS (vendor certified expert), R, SAP Business Objects (WebI, Crystal Reports), Tableau, and others.