Thursday, March 14, 2013

Online Degrees Done Dirt Cheap

While driving across Wisconsin yesterday, I learned of a great new place to get an online degree.

In the city of Middleton, stop at Poupon U and learn all about mustard. Even if you cannot visit the campus, you can still go online and earn an official diploma--for the low price of just eight dollars--in a variety of degree programs, such as:

  • M.D. degree (Mustard Doctor)
  • JD degree (Juris Dufus)
  • DDS degree (Doctor of Diddley-Squat)
  • MBA degree (Master of Bad Attitude)
  • CPA degree (Couch Potato Authority)

Each degree is authorized by Elvis (who moved to Wisconsin to be closer to the fresh cheese) and Buford, their resident village idiot.

And be sure to show your alumni pride by donning the collegiate apparel. Go Big Yellow!

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About Me

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I am a project-based consultant, helping data-intensive firms use agile methods and automation tools to replace legacy reporting and bring in modern BI/Analytics to leverage Social, Cloud, Mobile, Big Data, Visualizations, and Predictive Analytics. For several world-class vendors, I led services teams specializing in providing software implementation and custom application development. Based on scores of successful engagements, I have assembled proven methodologies and automated software tools.

During twenty years of technical consulting, I have been blessed to work with smart people from some of the world's most respected organizations, including: FedEx, Procter & Gamble, Nationwide, The Wendy's Company, The Kroger Co., JPMorgan Chase, MasterCard, Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Siemens, American Express, and others.

I was educated at Valparaiso University and the University of Cincinnati, graduating summa cum laude. In 1990, I joined Information Builders, the vendor of WebFOCUS BI and iWay enterprise integration products, and for over a dozen years served in branch leadership roles. For several years, I also led technical teams within Cincom Systems' ERP software product group and the custom software services arm of Xerox.

Since 2007, I have provided enterprise BI services such as: strategic advice; architecture, design, and software application development of intelligence systems (interactive dashboards and mobile); data warehousing; and automated modernization of legacy reporting.